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♥ Erica & Chris ♥
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Fade away.
Wow this is going to be a public entry. Because I'd like the WHOLE world to know how Erica DeCarlo thinks. But I highly doubt that anyone will read this so who cares if it's public or not.

So I was thinking and it just suddenly hit me. To be fully accepted and fully wanted you must have a car. The only time someone wants to be your friend is when you have a car. And since you have a car they obviously have to get to know you and so you become really close friends. And the whole time you lie to yourself and to others and say how much you "LOVE THAT PERSON!!!" Now if anyone is reading this they'll say "Oh God Erica is being a heartless bitch again." But let me just say one thing...if I had a car would you think that? No because you would be forced to get to know me and know that I'm one of the most positive, optimistic, compassionate people in the world. But no one really knows that because how dare Erica have any feelings?

I look around at all the myspaces and livejournals and I see all these people I know at places I was never invited to and it makes me laugh so hard. It makes me think that by next month I'm probably going to have so many friends because "WHAT ERICA DRIVES!" And then stupid me will be so happy and feel so loved and think that these people really are my friends and I'll forget that I ever said this. But let me just say now I'm not going to name drop but there certainly are SOME people who really know how to be nice friends. But I sit and think are they the ONLY people in this world who know how to be nice?

I really do hate being this way. I really hate bitching and complaining especially since it's summer and there is nothing to really truly be upset about it. But sometimes I get extremely, extremly lonely. All I want is to have good friends and a good relationship. And I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I know that I'm a happy person, I know that I make people laugh, I know that I'm a good friend and I try REALLY effing hard to be a good girlfriend but it doesn't seem to work. And through all of this I try to be really strong but sometimes I just get so fed up of trying to do everything on my own. Maybe I really need to learn how to just let all that crap go. Oh it will when I get a car.

So lets talk about love now. I swear it has to be the most confusing thing in the world. It's like you sit with other people and hear their horrible tales of relationships gone bad and you say to them all this crap like "LEAVE HIM GIRL! HE'S NOT WORTH IT!" and then the same thing happens to you and you're like "What? Leave him." And then you try so hard so effing hard to make things right and its just out of your hands. Its up to the other person. And your stomach churns and twists and you have no idea what to do anymore. And slowly all those memories you were holding on to and all the future plans you had slowly feel like you can't grasp on to them anymore. I really don't know what to do anymore. Things don't feel like they're getting any better. And I try to be myself and I try to show you what you fell in love with and I feel like your eyes just don't see it. And you see other people and you get mad and angry at them for being happy. And really love has to be so confusing. But if we didn't have it I think we'd go crazy. Either way we're crazy. I just hope that everything works out. You know one thing that really sucks though is that I basically have to beg for your attentions and when you're in love with someone you can't get enough of eachother. I hope you sit and think about my feelings too. Because I try so hard to make all your bad feelings go away. Someone who has been with me everytime I had people being mean to me because they never asked of my feelings should know how bad that hurts and here you are doing the same.

I don't get love.

Not one bit.

Ah I just want to get away.

mood : crushed crushed
music : none
lips upon my lips
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You simply make me smile as wide as a foot ball field. with just a grin.


i love you more then life.
you are life.


mood : i lov you
music : cursive- the great decay
lips upon my lips
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A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

First public entry. Hmph. I wonder why I posted THIS public? Hope you're smart enough to fuckin' figure it out. Maybe you all could absorb it.

K thats all for now. Now for a friends only entry where I can talk smack.

KISS (pssh),
air </3

mood : angry angry
music : Kelly my girl.
1 sweet kisses lips upon my lips
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Comment if you would like to be added.
Always accepting new friends ;) ♥

mood : happy happy
2 sweet kisses lips upon my lips
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